Incumbent French President Nicolas Sarkozy and his bendy wife were banished from the spotlight of European politics last week following an election defeat at the hands of a competent bore.

Francois Hollande was the victor with 52% of the vote, and has promised and end to austerity.

Professor Alvin Svengoranerikson, of the Brussells-based lefty think tank the Reasonable Institute, said the change of direction could have impact on the Eurozone.

“I think we’re witnessing the beginning of a sea change in European politics, the first red ketchup blotches on a tablecloth of Conservative blue, if you will.

“It shows that people in Europe are tiring of the austerity agenda and favour measures such as taxes on higher earners to solve the… Oh, this is rubbish, isn’t it?

“I mean, without Sarko, European politics is going to be boring as sin. He was probably the only one of them I could have picked out of a lineup, with the exception of Angela Merkel’s ghastly mug.

“Ever since Silvio left, it’s been rubbish, like Taggart after Mark MacManus died. And now newspapers won’t even be able to distract us from the tedium of European politics by printing pictures of Carla Bruni’s nipples.”

Proffesor Svengoranerikson added: “And think of how brilliant it could have been. We could have had that pansexual reptile Strauss-Kahn.

“If he got in I would give it a week before he tried to force his penis into something unwilling or at least inappropriate, and turn the whole thing back into the sort of greasy cabaret we’ve come to expect.

“That would have been worth watching.”